Weekly Verse and Song for Tonight Weeks 119-127
4/6/16
Week 119:
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 1
This week I was thinking about my mom a lot wondering how my mom is doing. See one thing that is so true is that I was very close to mom. After a rash of decisions I found myself out of town living in another state, I enjoyed it there I was working and enjoying myself. After 35 years of living with mom I was on my own. To be honest I can't say that my relationship with mom was the best, but we were very tight. Keeping in touch with my mom was very important to me it was the morning of March 24th when I had to make a very hard decision to leave this new state that I liked and return home to take care of mom as I realized mom needed more looking after. I agonized for weeks over this decision, I wanted to stay put, I was settled I was at peace, I liked the Church, I liked the people, I liked the job and I liked my solitude.
In what I call "The Hard Ride" I found myself in a winter storm 12 hours away from mom, driving with unforseen weather conditions, there were cars in ditches, slippery icy roads, lots of frozen snow that had yet to be cleared by the snow plows. It got dark and so it was even colder at one point it felt like I was riding on rocks, but in fact I was riding on frozen broken blocks of snow and ice. A 12 hour trip took 20 hours because of the road conditions. I wanted to turn back but I didn't the reason was because I was going to be able to take care of mom.....
Mom as I write this story over the next weeks, I want to share God's love and the love I have for you that is only because of the love we share in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Coming Home, sounds so nice.
Song: "How Deep The Fathers Love For Us" - Stuart Townend
Week 119:
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 1
This week I was thinking about my mom a lot wondering how my mom is doing. See one thing that is so true is that I was very close to mom. After a rash of decisions I found myself out of town living in another state, I enjoyed it there I was working and enjoying myself. After 35 years of living with mom I was on my own. To be honest I can't say that my relationship with mom was the best, but we were very tight. Keeping in touch with my mom was very important to me it was the morning of March 24th when I had to make a very hard decision to leave this new state that I liked and return home to take care of mom as I realized mom needed more looking after. I agonized for weeks over this decision, I wanted to stay put, I was settled I was at peace, I liked the Church, I liked the people, I liked the job and I liked my solitude.
In what I call "The Hard Ride" I found myself in a winter storm 12 hours away from mom, driving with unforseen weather conditions, there were cars in ditches, slippery icy roads, lots of frozen snow that had yet to be cleared by the snow plows. It got dark and so it was even colder at one point it felt like I was riding on rocks, but in fact I was riding on frozen broken blocks of snow and ice. A 12 hour trip took 20 hours because of the road conditions. I wanted to turn back but I didn't the reason was because I was going to be able to take care of mom.....
Mom as I write this story over the next weeks, I want to share God's love and the love I have for you that is only because of the love we share in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Coming Home, sounds so nice.
Song: "How Deep The Fathers Love For Us" - Stuart Townend
4/13/16
Week 120:
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 2
This week as I continue to discuss the "Hard Ride" I want to take you on a short emotional journey of what it was like.
Yes I was going to take care of mom, that was the main reason that I was going through that storm. I recall as I was driving I called my mom as I always do and mom informed me that the furnace (we affectionately call the heater) wasn't working. My brother stopped by to help mom but the furnace still couldn't be fixed. This was somewhat of a confirmation for me that I would be taking care of mom. I have to be honest the thought however of living at home again was very unappealing and I was worried about that. Fast forward a bit to 4am still dark and still driving the storm, was dying down but the roads were still bad. I had a job I was suppose to be starting at 9am on Monday March 25th. Well there was a point where I couldn't take the drive anymore I found a truck stop and pulled in and slept in my car. I realized I still had 5 hours to go and even getting up at 6am to start driving again would not allow me get to this new job on time. To be honest I wasn't thrilled about this job. I woke up at 6am and started on my way, I started to become interested in turning back and heading back to Tulsa, OK. I knew however I shouldn't. I never forgot when I came to a traffic jam around 8am and saw spot where I could make a U Turn and as I drove to it I kept thinking, "turn around this is your last chance," "when you get to that spot, turn around". As I drove past the U Turn spot I remembered looking back at it. I got enough courage and called work and told them I would be late, they seemed OK with it....As I got closer to the job I started feel grossed out.
Mom as I continue to write this story over the next weeks, I want to continue to share God's love and the love I have for you that is only because of the love we share in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Coming Home, is nice but the road can be painful.
Song: Beautiful Song- Hosanna in the highest
Week 120:
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 2
This week as I continue to discuss the "Hard Ride" I want to take you on a short emotional journey of what it was like.
Yes I was going to take care of mom, that was the main reason that I was going through that storm. I recall as I was driving I called my mom as I always do and mom informed me that the furnace (we affectionately call the heater) wasn't working. My brother stopped by to help mom but the furnace still couldn't be fixed. This was somewhat of a confirmation for me that I would be taking care of mom. I have to be honest the thought however of living at home again was very unappealing and I was worried about that. Fast forward a bit to 4am still dark and still driving the storm, was dying down but the roads were still bad. I had a job I was suppose to be starting at 9am on Monday March 25th. Well there was a point where I couldn't take the drive anymore I found a truck stop and pulled in and slept in my car. I realized I still had 5 hours to go and even getting up at 6am to start driving again would not allow me get to this new job on time. To be honest I wasn't thrilled about this job. I woke up at 6am and started on my way, I started to become interested in turning back and heading back to Tulsa, OK. I knew however I shouldn't. I never forgot when I came to a traffic jam around 8am and saw spot where I could make a U Turn and as I drove to it I kept thinking, "turn around this is your last chance," "when you get to that spot, turn around". As I drove past the U Turn spot I remembered looking back at it. I got enough courage and called work and told them I would be late, they seemed OK with it....As I got closer to the job I started feel grossed out.
Mom as I continue to write this story over the next weeks, I want to continue to share God's love and the love I have for you that is only because of the love we share in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Coming Home, is nice but the road can be painful.
Song: Beautiful Song- Hosanna in the highest
Week 121
April 20, 2016
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 3
This week as I continue to discuss the "Hard Ride" I want to take you on a journey or feeling good and feeling bad
I started feeling grossed out as I got closer and closer to the new job simply because I really, did not want to work for that company. The name of the company was so nerdy and all (can't name it, but it's the closet Galaxy to ours ;) ). So I finally get to the company after a 20 hour journey, it wasn't my plan but I had my jeans on and all and was not dressed professionally. Still the "new manager" was ok with me coming there as I was. We sat and talked and I felt good about the conversation, then we did a tour and he showed me the building etc, as I was looking around I felt bad and my mind was going to "I hope maybe I can go back to Tulsa tonight and work at my old job" as I was there and "touring" the place I started to feel good that this may work. Then as I was talking to the manager my manager from my old company sent me a text saying that I "my manager is asking you to make a decision if you are coming back and keeping your old job in Tulsa or if you will stay in Chicago", so then I started feeling bad again. The truth is my mom was here in Chicago going through things on my mom's own, I wanted to come back and take care of mom, I told the company in Tulsa that I was leaving for the weekend to do just that (there's more to the story however). Well as I was sitting at the new job I pretty much felt terrible and ok at times. Eventually I tried to be positive, I thought to myself at least I get to go home in a few hours and see mom.....that made me feel great and also a little bad....
Mom as I continue to write this story over the next weeks, it's a journey as hard as it was I can look back right this very minute and see God's hand, though at the time I couldn't.
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Coming Home, is nice but not always easy.
Song: My Jesus By Todd Agnew
Week 122
April 27, 2016
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 4
This week as I continue to discuss the "Hard Ride" I want to continue down the emotional journey....
I felt good and a little bad mainly because I knew I wanted to see and take care of , but a piece of me didn't want to stay in IL. I think I mainly because I didn't like change. Well that night I went home and as I went I remember myself knocking on the door like I normally would and mom opening the door slowly as it was late at night and it was dark out, mom saw me and mom said "Awwwww" and it felt good to be home. Mom and I sat down on the couch and I played with mom's dog and watched wrestling. I later went out to get something and when I came back mom was asleep and I found beef curry and string beans on the kitchen table that mom had made for me. I remember also that moment feeling good and felt it was good to come home again, but the truth is I think there's a lot of truth to the phrase "You can't come home again". It never felt the same to be back home, in my heart I was able to take care of mom, but in my head I liked independence. So I figured out a way to live like 20 mins from mom and I thought well I will work this new job I have here, buy a house and move mom in with me, and/or mom can live in two places. I had that plan but God had other plans.....
Mom as I continue to write this story over the next weeks, it's a journey as hard as it was I can look back right this very minute and see God's hand, though at the time I couldn't.
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Coming Home, is nice but you can't truly come home again.
Song: VERTICAL CHURCH BAND - Lamb of God: Song Sessions
April 27, 2016
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 4
This week as I continue to discuss the "Hard Ride" I want to continue down the emotional journey....
I felt good and a little bad mainly because I knew I wanted to see and take care of , but a piece of me didn't want to stay in IL. I think I mainly because I didn't like change. Well that night I went home and as I went I remember myself knocking on the door like I normally would and mom opening the door slowly as it was late at night and it was dark out, mom saw me and mom said "Awwwww" and it felt good to be home. Mom and I sat down on the couch and I played with mom's dog and watched wrestling. I later went out to get something and when I came back mom was asleep and I found beef curry and string beans on the kitchen table that mom had made for me. I remember also that moment feeling good and felt it was good to come home again, but the truth is I think there's a lot of truth to the phrase "You can't come home again". It never felt the same to be back home, in my heart I was able to take care of mom, but in my head I liked independence. So I figured out a way to live like 20 mins from mom and I thought well I will work this new job I have here, buy a house and move mom in with me, and/or mom can live in two places. I had that plan but God had other plans.....
Mom as I continue to write this story over the next weeks, it's a journey as hard as it was I can look back right this very minute and see God's hand, though at the time I couldn't.
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Coming Home, is nice but you can't truly come home again.
Song: VERTICAL CHURCH BAND - Lamb of God: Song Sessions
Week 123
May 4, 2016
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 5
This week as I continue to discuss the "Hard Ride" I want to continue down the emotional journey and describe how I make plans but God truly directs them....
I say I had plans but God had others mainly because I know now that as we draw closer to God we align more and more with our Creator. Well as I was working at the new job thinking I was doing well, 1 month passed and I was called into the office. They asked "So how is it going with the client" and I said " well I think it's going well" The next response was less flattering the owner said "well that's good because that's not what I'm hearing" my thoughts were "typical;" he then said "I need you to understand we are in charge and everything you do must come through us" I said "ok" then he said look me in the eye and tell me you understand "I said yes I get it". The next thing that was said by the owner was "well that's good, because if you didn't answer that correctly you were going to be out of here. I was dumbfounded and said "ok thank you" and left. It was raising my thoughts that this wasn't a good place to work. I kept thinking in my head that I was never treated this way with the company in Tulsa. Nevertheless I would always remember when I would get to see mom on Friday nights why I am back in IL. So I kept at it every weekend I would meet with a realtor and try to look for a house, in my mind was I don't think this job will work, but oh well, I am going to try anyway. I continued to work there and continued to try to make it work. Well a month later (now a total of two months) I was called in the office again. My suspicions were raised and I started to think I wonder if this is it. I remember the day well it was a Friday that I got the call to come in on a Monday, I remember because I went to moms house to pick up the application to buy a city sticker for my vehicle. Well I called my supervisor and I I asked him clearly why am I being called into the office, he just said we need you to pick up some parts. Like I was going to believe that.....
Mom as I continue to write this story over the next weeks, it's a journey as hard as it was I can look back right this very minute and see God's hand, though at the time I couldn't.
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Coming Home, is nice but people don't always treat you nice.
May 4, 2016
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 5
This week as I continue to discuss the "Hard Ride" I want to continue down the emotional journey and describe how I make plans but God truly directs them....
I say I had plans but God had others mainly because I know now that as we draw closer to God we align more and more with our Creator. Well as I was working at the new job thinking I was doing well, 1 month passed and I was called into the office. They asked "So how is it going with the client" and I said " well I think it's going well" The next response was less flattering the owner said "well that's good because that's not what I'm hearing" my thoughts were "typical;" he then said "I need you to understand we are in charge and everything you do must come through us" I said "ok" then he said look me in the eye and tell me you understand "I said yes I get it". The next thing that was said by the owner was "well that's good, because if you didn't answer that correctly you were going to be out of here. I was dumbfounded and said "ok thank you" and left. It was raising my thoughts that this wasn't a good place to work. I kept thinking in my head that I was never treated this way with the company in Tulsa. Nevertheless I would always remember when I would get to see mom on Friday nights why I am back in IL. So I kept at it every weekend I would meet with a realtor and try to look for a house, in my mind was I don't think this job will work, but oh well, I am going to try anyway. I continued to work there and continued to try to make it work. Well a month later (now a total of two months) I was called in the office again. My suspicions were raised and I started to think I wonder if this is it. I remember the day well it was a Friday that I got the call to come in on a Monday, I remember because I went to moms house to pick up the application to buy a city sticker for my vehicle. Well I called my supervisor and I I asked him clearly why am I being called into the office, he just said we need you to pick up some parts. Like I was going to believe that.....
Mom as I continue to write this story over the next weeks, it's a journey as hard as it was I can look back right this very minute and see God's hand, though at the time I couldn't.
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Coming Home, is nice but people don't always treat you nice.
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Week 124
May 11, 2016
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 6
This week I continue down this emotional journey....
Well I wasn't going to believe that the supervisor was calling me in on Monday morning to pick up parts. Nevertheless the Friday before I remember going to Burbank City Hall to pick up my car's city Sticker before I picked them up I remember talking to mom as mom was sitting on the couch watching the View or something and then I left. Well Sunday came and I remember having a feeling of peace and I went to Pizza Hut and bought mom and my sister Amy pizza and we sat at mom's house and ate. I remember thinking tomorrow may be my last day at that job. Monday morning comes around and into the office I go and there my supervisor sat and said the owner and I want to actually meet with you, I also remembering leaving my laptop in my car. I went in and sat down with the owner and the supervisor and there it was the words "Well how are you doing", my reply "fine just tired", then the words, "well this just isn't working out, we are going to have to let you go". No big shocker but still a shocker nonetheless. My replies back to the owner were why etc. Then I asked for a severance package and because I was very nice about it, he said "You know we never had done this, but for you I will". Great. Next I left and to be honest was semi happy but concerned what to do next but still semi-happy. I wasn't going to tell my mom that much I knew for sure, I didn't want mom to know that I came to IL to be close to mom and to take care of mom, and then I lose a job. Next I started my journey on doing the job search, I had a contract position come up and that lasted almost seven days and believe it or not "they let me go" too. After that happened I decided I was going to take a position at a small company. While I was working there, I got a call to work for some BIG named company and I was willing to take it because it was in a market that was involved in a niche area. So what was God doing. I was brought to IL, kicking and screaming, lost 2 jobs in a row, gained a 3rd, left there to go work for a BIG company. Well as Romans 8:28 tells us "all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose". God was showing me this, and He was showing me more, that I loved my mom, and that this was a second chance to take care of mom...
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Coming Home mom was nice to take care of you again.
Song: "Jesus Paid It All (O Praise the One)"
May 11, 2016
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 6
This week I continue down this emotional journey....
Well I wasn't going to believe that the supervisor was calling me in on Monday morning to pick up parts. Nevertheless the Friday before I remember going to Burbank City Hall to pick up my car's city Sticker before I picked them up I remember talking to mom as mom was sitting on the couch watching the View or something and then I left. Well Sunday came and I remember having a feeling of peace and I went to Pizza Hut and bought mom and my sister Amy pizza and we sat at mom's house and ate. I remember thinking tomorrow may be my last day at that job. Monday morning comes around and into the office I go and there my supervisor sat and said the owner and I want to actually meet with you, I also remembering leaving my laptop in my car. I went in and sat down with the owner and the supervisor and there it was the words "Well how are you doing", my reply "fine just tired", then the words, "well this just isn't working out, we are going to have to let you go". No big shocker but still a shocker nonetheless. My replies back to the owner were why etc. Then I asked for a severance package and because I was very nice about it, he said "You know we never had done this, but for you I will". Great. Next I left and to be honest was semi happy but concerned what to do next but still semi-happy. I wasn't going to tell my mom that much I knew for sure, I didn't want mom to know that I came to IL to be close to mom and to take care of mom, and then I lose a job. Next I started my journey on doing the job search, I had a contract position come up and that lasted almost seven days and believe it or not "they let me go" too. After that happened I decided I was going to take a position at a small company. While I was working there, I got a call to work for some BIG named company and I was willing to take it because it was in a market that was involved in a niche area. So what was God doing. I was brought to IL, kicking and screaming, lost 2 jobs in a row, gained a 3rd, left there to go work for a BIG company. Well as Romans 8:28 tells us "all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose". God was showing me this, and He was showing me more, that I loved my mom, and that this was a second chance to take care of mom...
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Coming Home mom was nice to take care of you again.
Song: "Jesus Paid It All (O Praise the One)"
Week 125
May 18, 2016
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 7
This week I continue down this emotional journey....
So now as I started to work for this BIG company things seemed fine. I was working about an hour from mom's home but I worked and did my best. Believe it or not I started feeling good about coming back to IL, to work. I was happy to come back to IL to take care of mom but started finally good about working here again. As I worked it was fine, thinks seemed pretty decent. Well one morning on September 25th I woke up and drove to mom's house about 4am and one main reason for doing this was to make sure mom was ok, and to walk mom's dog. As I go to the house I got Kanmani and walked her and came back and saw mom sleeping, mom looked like mom was having a bad dream, I let mom sleep. So I fed mom's dog and made my way to the gym to workout. I went back to where I was staying and got dressed and ,made my way to work. On my was I was so incredibly tired but felt strong that I needed to call my mom. I called mom and mom answered and said, "Hi did you come here this morning and walk Kanmani?" "I said yes" mom then said "did you give her che-che?" I said "yes mom" Mom then said "thank you for that. Then I said "it's ok mom Im going to work and will call you back when I get off", mom said "ok" I said "love you mom" then mom said "I love you too..."....
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Home is not here...
Song: "Jesus Paid It All (O Praise the One)"
May 18, 2016
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 7
This week I continue down this emotional journey....
So now as I started to work for this BIG company things seemed fine. I was working about an hour from mom's home but I worked and did my best. Believe it or not I started feeling good about coming back to IL, to work. I was happy to come back to IL to take care of mom but started finally good about working here again. As I worked it was fine, thinks seemed pretty decent. Well one morning on September 25th I woke up and drove to mom's house about 4am and one main reason for doing this was to make sure mom was ok, and to walk mom's dog. As I go to the house I got Kanmani and walked her and came back and saw mom sleeping, mom looked like mom was having a bad dream, I let mom sleep. So I fed mom's dog and made my way to the gym to workout. I went back to where I was staying and got dressed and ,made my way to work. On my was I was so incredibly tired but felt strong that I needed to call my mom. I called mom and mom answered and said, "Hi did you come here this morning and walk Kanmani?" "I said yes" mom then said "did you give her che-che?" I said "yes mom" Mom then said "thank you for that. Then I said "it's ok mom Im going to work and will call you back when I get off", mom said "ok" I said "love you mom" then mom said "I love you too..."....
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Home is not here...
Song: "Jesus Paid It All (O Praise the One)"
Week 126
May 25, 2016
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 8
This week I continue down this emotional journey....
Around 5:30pm I got off of work and started to head home. I recall getting into the car and driving, I called one of my good friends to say hi because he called me during the day, but he wasn't available. I then called my mom, as I usually do and there was no answer, so as I was driving I returned a recruiter's call and spoke for a few minutes. Then while talking to her I realize 20 minutes had passed and mom still didn't return my call. I got off the phone with the recruiter and called mom, no answer. I usually expect mom to call me back if mom missed my call, so I waited again for a few minutes called and again no answer. I was already on the road driving to the place where I was staying but still no return call from mom. To put things in perspective I worked about an 1 1/2 hours from mom's house. I was driving not sure why mom didn't return my call. I waited a few more minutes while driving and still no answer. I was looking at my gas gauge and it was getting low because I hadn't filled up in a while. As I was driving I had to get off the expressway and find a gas station, it took me 15 minutes to find one, and then another 15 minutes to get back on the express way. Once I got back on I called mom, and no answer. I continued to drive. As I was driving I was getting very worried, butterflies crept into my stomach, I was so incredibly nervous, and scared. Slowly I started to feel a bit upset. After about an hour in traffic I made it to the exit that would take me to the road leading directly to mom's house. However this road though a 15 minutes drive, was full of traffic. I called mom again and no answer, I slammed the phone down and screamed "answer the phone!", as if that would do any good. I was so full of emotion and with all the traffic I became very agitated. I started to get closer to mom's house it was now approaching 7:30pm. Traffic was still bad only a few seconds from mom's house that I took a quick side street and drove. As I suddenly approached the house I saw the outside lights to mom's house was completely of and the kitchen curtains were closed, mom always opens them and keeps the outside light on, basically the house was completely dark. I parked jumped out of the car and was about to leave the phone in it and felt very strongly I was going to need it, I walked up to the front door and noticed the mail box was completely full. As I put the key in the front door I felt again very strongly that I should be ready, almost like a voice saying "get ready". I turned the key and peered in the house very slowly and found my mom, lying on the couch and the TV screen was blue. I went up to mom and placed my hand on my mom's stomach, and said "mom, mom, mom" while shaking mom gently. I turned the lamp on and called my brother and told him mom wasn't waking up, and I then got on mom's phone, called 911, and the operator told me to perform CPR and it was no good but the ambulance arrived and started working on mom, then he stood up looked at me straight in the face and shook his head, however, even before he did so I knew.
Mom had gone home to be with Jesus.
I called my other siblings and they all came over and saw mom......
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Home is with Jesus....
Song: "How Deep The Father's Love for Us ~ Phillips, Craig and Dean
May 25, 2016
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 8
This week I continue down this emotional journey....
Around 5:30pm I got off of work and started to head home. I recall getting into the car and driving, I called one of my good friends to say hi because he called me during the day, but he wasn't available. I then called my mom, as I usually do and there was no answer, so as I was driving I returned a recruiter's call and spoke for a few minutes. Then while talking to her I realize 20 minutes had passed and mom still didn't return my call. I got off the phone with the recruiter and called mom, no answer. I usually expect mom to call me back if mom missed my call, so I waited again for a few minutes called and again no answer. I was already on the road driving to the place where I was staying but still no return call from mom. To put things in perspective I worked about an 1 1/2 hours from mom's house. I was driving not sure why mom didn't return my call. I waited a few more minutes while driving and still no answer. I was looking at my gas gauge and it was getting low because I hadn't filled up in a while. As I was driving I had to get off the expressway and find a gas station, it took me 15 minutes to find one, and then another 15 minutes to get back on the express way. Once I got back on I called mom, and no answer. I continued to drive. As I was driving I was getting very worried, butterflies crept into my stomach, I was so incredibly nervous, and scared. Slowly I started to feel a bit upset. After about an hour in traffic I made it to the exit that would take me to the road leading directly to mom's house. However this road though a 15 minutes drive, was full of traffic. I called mom again and no answer, I slammed the phone down and screamed "answer the phone!", as if that would do any good. I was so full of emotion and with all the traffic I became very agitated. I started to get closer to mom's house it was now approaching 7:30pm. Traffic was still bad only a few seconds from mom's house that I took a quick side street and drove. As I suddenly approached the house I saw the outside lights to mom's house was completely of and the kitchen curtains were closed, mom always opens them and keeps the outside light on, basically the house was completely dark. I parked jumped out of the car and was about to leave the phone in it and felt very strongly I was going to need it, I walked up to the front door and noticed the mail box was completely full. As I put the key in the front door I felt again very strongly that I should be ready, almost like a voice saying "get ready". I turned the key and peered in the house very slowly and found my mom, lying on the couch and the TV screen was blue. I went up to mom and placed my hand on my mom's stomach, and said "mom, mom, mom" while shaking mom gently. I turned the lamp on and called my brother and told him mom wasn't waking up, and I then got on mom's phone, called 911, and the operator told me to perform CPR and it was no good but the ambulance arrived and started working on mom, then he stood up looked at me straight in the face and shook his head, however, even before he did so I knew.
Mom had gone home to be with Jesus.
I called my other siblings and they all came over and saw mom......
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Home is with Jesus....
Song: "How Deep The Father's Love for Us ~ Phillips, Craig and Dean
Week 127
June 1, 2016
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 8
This week I continue down this emotional journey....
We come to the end of this emotional journey. The feelings I was/am going through are very real. The way I feel is very painful at times it's been almost 3 full years and it's still hard. With this said there were so many emotions that day and the day after and weeks after, months after and years after. The one thing I hold onto is my relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. My mom lead me to Christ and as I grew older my love and knowledge of Jesus drew me closer. After mom left this life I was so angry with God. I felt it was my duty to take care of mom. As this journey the Hard Ride is told through these weeks, I wanted to illustrate the point that life is a hard ride, but without Christ it's no use because when this Hard Ride ends, a true Christian knows he will be with His Savior. Yes my anger was there and I was so upset but with God, but He always promises to always be with us. God knows how we feel and the emotions that will come forth. For me I was so angry at God, I know today that God understands. I love my mom so much that I would journey a ride from Oklahoma almost taking 24 hours in a snow storm to Illinois just so I could take care of mom, and I love my mom so much that I rushed home when my mom wouldn't answer the pone only to find mom had gone home to be with Christ, that's a hard ride. I owe every bit of my life to Jesus. As the weeks progressed I found myself in several Christian Grief Share groups and they helped a lot. God was healing me and still is today.
I rest on this, my hope is on Jesus and the promise of a new life called Eternity, where I will see my mom again and I will see my Savior Jesus Christ who provides the way...
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Home is with Jesus.
Song: Strong Enough - Matthew West - Worship Video with lyrics
June 1, 2016
2 Timothy 4:6-8
6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
The Hard Ride Part 8
This week I continue down this emotional journey....
We come to the end of this emotional journey. The feelings I was/am going through are very real. The way I feel is very painful at times it's been almost 3 full years and it's still hard. With this said there were so many emotions that day and the day after and weeks after, months after and years after. The one thing I hold onto is my relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. My mom lead me to Christ and as I grew older my love and knowledge of Jesus drew me closer. After mom left this life I was so angry with God. I felt it was my duty to take care of mom. As this journey the Hard Ride is told through these weeks, I wanted to illustrate the point that life is a hard ride, but without Christ it's no use because when this Hard Ride ends, a true Christian knows he will be with His Savior. Yes my anger was there and I was so upset but with God, but He always promises to always be with us. God knows how we feel and the emotions that will come forth. For me I was so angry at God, I know today that God understands. I love my mom so much that I would journey a ride from Oklahoma almost taking 24 hours in a snow storm to Illinois just so I could take care of mom, and I love my mom so much that I rushed home when my mom wouldn't answer the pone only to find mom had gone home to be with Christ, that's a hard ride. I owe every bit of my life to Jesus. As the weeks progressed I found myself in several Christian Grief Share groups and they helped a lot. God was healing me and still is today.
I rest on this, my hope is on Jesus and the promise of a new life called Eternity, where I will see my mom again and I will see my Savior Jesus Christ who provides the way...
I love you mom, I love you LORD.
Home is with Jesus.
Song: Strong Enough - Matthew West - Worship Video with lyrics
